| Its been a while |
[Jan. 26th, 2006|09:54 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
Well, how the heck has everyone been? I have been ok, i work at Chili's now, i like that job a lot, not sure if i like it better than the go-go dancing thing, but i know that isnt a job i would want to keep for a very long time. Chili's is fun and the people are fun, my manager is cute, and there are a lot of gay people also, so its fun for everyone! lol- OMG i love that song my humps, and as soon as i figure out how to put it on here. Anywho, i have a total crush on this guy Mickey/Michael i work with, he is a cutie! I'd bend him over...haha- no really he is a sweet guy! I really am phenin(sp) for some new True Religion jeans, this weekend ill 'shake what my mama gave me' and make some spending money! WOOHOO lol- I am a whore for clothes, i love them! yum---- So i am single, i was dating this guy Anthony for about a month, but he is just not my type, i like manly men, ya know! He wasnt, he was more girly, i like a guy that can hold me, guys that are rough w/ everyone but gentle and sweet with me. But he was the opposite and got really pissed when i broke things off, well i actually kind of told him he could stay with me and didnt show up b/c i didnt wana stay with him, and he was like liar, its over. So i geuss he really broke up with me, but whatever i didnt like him lol- So it was cool with me. Now im flying solo(not that i want to, i do want a b/f but im not guna pretend life is too short to settle, or pretend you really like someone if you don't) i want a b/f just someone i know i can be happy with and really care about. There are a few guys but im in class so ill talk about that later.
BUT STILL, I RISE
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
-Maya Angelou===thanks for the inspiration, Maya!!
----much love, justin |
|
|
| LILLY |
[Jan. 1st, 2006|03:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | undiscovered-ashlee | ] |
girl, you gota call me when you get this, god know youre on this thing 24/7! ha.....omg you think back home there is shit no way, you wont believe this! i miss you and love you.....reply when you can...ttyl much love -justin |
|
|
| "confessions of a broken heart" |
[Oct. 1st, 2005|01:38 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Confessions of a Broken Heart | ] |
I wait for the postman to bring me a letter
I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better
And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders
A family in crisis that only grows older
Why’d you have to go
Why’d you have to go
Why’d you have to go
Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am broken but I am hoping
Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am crying, a part of me is dying and
These are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart
I wear all your old clothes your polo sweater
I dream of another you the one who would never (never)
Leave me alone to pick up the pieces
A daddy to hold me, that’s what I needed
(So) why’d you have to go
Why’d you have to go
Why’d you have to go
Daughter to father, daughter to father
I don’t know you, but I still want to
Daughter to father, daughter to father
Tell me the truth, did u ever love me
Cause these are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart
I love you, I loved you |
|
|
| drunk? |
[Sep. 30th, 2005|11:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  weird | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sarah mclaclin-sweet surrender | ] |
HEY PEOPLE---whats up...this is so wierd so i thought i should write about it a bit. When i normally get drunk i want to hook up with people or some bullshit like that, but now i really dont want to and have no desire, what does this mean? hopefully it means im kind of "growing up", well i really hope it means this because 'hooking' up is fun but after everytime no matter how much i knew the guy or how fun it is, i still feel let down in some way, b/c i always want to further it even though the other party doesn't quite feel the same. It hurts, i try not to let it so much but there isnt much i can do i geuss, except for stop it. Hopefully i am over this 'stage' of my life ha-how lame do i sound? well hopefully this all makes sense when i read it again...prlly in a few days b/c i have to find another computer to update from, hopefully Alice's comp, who has become my new 'best friend' lately, ha god im a fuckin idiot-btw- lilly is so still my best fukin frind ever!!!!! But since she isnt around as much these days ( which is totally not her fault and i do not blame her at all) god knows i love lilly more that anything(cept my late ferret smeagol) haha jk, love you girl! call me biyotch!!!!!!! love you to alice! muah muah muah girl!!!!
love yall too....who ever is reading this! ttyl, love peace and chicken grease! -justin! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 24th, 2005|11:43 pm] |
-god save the fags
so, im starting school oct 3, i want to because i still want to graduate this year, but i dont because all this time off has been very..ehh...great?! i also met this guy daniel, he is really swell! hopefully things work out, im not gunna gush about it cuz if i do it will turn out shity or somethin...o well if i havent talked you in forever and you want to hear more about me call me, ill talk about it but im to lazy to type about it! love ya! 2288060255 -justin! |
|
|
| years later |
[Sep. 17th, 2005|03:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing.... | ] |
HOWDY,
Well it has been quite some time since i have written in this thing, but my dear friend Maxx put a new pic of me on here so i decided to start updating again, not much has gone on my way, wel i lost my house( damn you katrina) and a lot of friends because theyy are moving away because EVERYTHING here is gone...it really sucks ass hard but whats a boy to do... o well, ill write more tomorrow i promise! Peace, love and chicken grease!MUAH |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2005|04:41 pm] |
|
Nothing is ever as it seems, huh...o well. Geuss ill move on. So my birthday is on the 24th, and i will be 17-yay lol--Well nothin has realy been happening, all i do now is work and sleep. It sucks but o well i like money. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 8th, 2005|08:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | blondie- maria | ] |
well guys, i think i found the one...FIRST THING
i just got back from one week trip to Orando FL
the least to say it was gay week, which i did not know of, but it was a nice surprise! I met some people, one being Eric, i dont even know what to say about him, but he has a huge part of my heart right now. Scary...but you cant help your heart. I hope things fall into place with us. yay well ima go for now, much love!!!!!!! justin
my new fav song
All my life i've been waiting
for you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not ok, i dont feel safe
I dont feel safe (oooh)
Left Broken, empty and in despair
Wanna breathe, can't find air
Thought you were sent from up above
But you and me never had love
so much more i have to say
help me find a way
And i wonder if you know
how it really feels,
to be left outside alone
when it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
just how it feels
to be left outside alone
to be left outside alone
I tell you,
All my life i've been waiting
for you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not ok, i dont feel safe
I need to pray..
Why do you play me like a game?
Always someone else to blame
careless, helpless little man
someday i might understand
Theres not much more to say
but i hope you find a way
Still i wonder if you know, how it really feels
to be left outside alone, when its cold out here
well maybe you should know, just how it feels,
to be left outside alone
to be left outside alone
I tell you,
All my life i've been waiting
for you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not ok, i dont feel safe
I need to pray..
Ooh Pray
Heavenly father (oooh)
(Please)Heavenly father (Save me) Oh save me
Oooooh..
And I Wonder If you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
when its cold out here
Well maybe you should know
just how it feels
to be left outside alone
to be left outside alone
All my life i've been waiting
for you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not ok, i dont feel safe
I Need to Pray.... |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 16th, 2005|12:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  busy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing | ] |
This weekend has been fun, well mostly sunday, lol. Friday i hung out w/ chris after work, we had fun..he is fun to be around even when we dont do anything b/c he is the funniest mofo, lol. Saturday we hung out again, it was hot, i got a Von Dutch belt for 3 bucks, i kno its so out but it was a cute belt, and 3 bucks is cheap! so i had to get it, then sunday i hooked up w/ an egyptian guy, he has a stron accent, lol he was hot, and he has a mercedes, not that its really important but its nice, o well, ill update tomorrow w/ some juicy details cuz im hanngin out w/ ole tarek(i.e. egyptian guy) today!! yay!
ya know what im not goin right now, b/c for some odd reason all these memories came to mind, and it makes me want to cry, and its all about lilly, its b/c we never see eachother, and it sucks, i remember the days when avie corey sam and me a lilly would go to her dads house by ourselves and jump in the pool and play online and crank up the record player w/ some good old rocky horror and dance like fools, i know it sounds funy and it was funy and fun, but the thought of what will never happen again is so sad. Her dad had to marry some dumb young bimbo and fall to her feet and do everything that she asks. So that means he sold the house, and her horse and now they live in the suburbs..what the fuck, that pisses me off so goddamn much. Now she lives w/ her mom b/c her dad is being very irresponsible. Her mom is so nice and she means well, but she is jumping from apartment to apartment, i hope she keeps the one she is in now b/c its my fav. BUt when she lived in the trailer it was the best, we had some good times there. We always have good times, but its all stopping b/c of so many things, and i refuse to let this happen i love her too much and i know she loves me. It wont happen, she is my best friend, i would honestly die for her. i remember when we were first friends and we would hang out at the mall and yea this is shallow but honesty, i would get kindof embarassed b/c the way she dressed and all, but now it doesnt matter i want to be like her, she inspires me so much, she helped me through the toughest times whne i was ashamed of being gay, now i dont give 2 shits wat anyone has to say about it, all b/c of her, she is my everything, she is the best and to all of you who dont get the chance to know her or have but thrown the chance away are really missing out...i feel better, but not completely, not until i stay the nigh t w/ her again..........later |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 10th, 2005|08:57 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
there is nowhere in the world i would rather be than here in my room dreaming of you and me! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 10th, 2005|08:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing | ] |
Well, this past w/e was..interesting. I saw House Of Wax Fri. night, its was pretty cool, it wasnt really scary, but it was pretty gory, and yes Paris dies, i was kinda grossed out by what happened, but she had the best death seen, it was sexy! Then Sat. i went to a retriet w/ my church, it was hot. Then i came home and hung out w/ Chris. It was kinda wierd cuz ya kno i havent really talked to him in like 9 months or something, then outa nowhere we hang out, it was my idea but stil it was kinda one of those awkward things, well untill we ate and he started singing loud in public..i swear i couldnt breathe i was laughin soooo hard. eh-yep so now its tuesday i have 2 weeks of school left, its killing me, god save me
love you bitches, justin |
|
|
| FILL THIS OUT BITCHES!!!!!! |
[May. 6th, 2005|11:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | NOTHING | ] |
Yay. Fill this out.
[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you make out with me?
[13] Are we close?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I lovable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[32] What's something you know about me that you don't think I know about myself?
[33] Are you going to put this on your lj and see what I say about you? |
|
|
| howdy |
[May. 5th, 2005|12:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ditzy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing | ] |
Im such a procrastinator, i have a German 2 Powerpoint to do that is 20 slides, due tomorrow, and i havent really started. O well, im ready for lunch. Ill update after lunch..love ya bye! |
|
|
| blow |
[May. 3rd, 2005|11:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | busy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | NOTHING! | ] |
well, prom was this past w/e, i didnt go, i had work and i like money more than watching these people go make fools of themselves, so i didnt go. everything has been slow lately..well i got a new lv bag..its nice makes me happy.....i wish i could listen to something, im working a dumb project for german 2 in the school library, how lame am i...and my friend laura, who i learned everything sexual from, is reading this as i type it, she is so goofy. But now that i have strayed away from the project like i promised myself i wouldnt do, let me run! much love- justin
p.s. chris i want your number or you can call me and let me have it my number is 8060255 |
|
|
| sick |
[Apr. 28th, 2005|12:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | love me for me-ashlee simpson | ] |
Im so tired of school it bites. Im just ready for summer because this summer is gunna be fun, i have lots of money so i can do whatever. This sat. im supposed to go to bourbon, cant wait. I just have to lie to my grandmaw, but o well. So i told that guy nathan that i liked him, he said 'im a great guy' whatever...i think i need to stop w/ him, ill just end up hoping for something i wont get. I have new friends, derek and britney, didnt think they cared much for but this is the 2nd time i have been invited to go to new orleans w/ them, so i geuss we are friends lol- o well, not to much to say...so later lovies!
much love-justin |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 24th, 2005|12:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Better off-ashlee simpson | ] |
well, i have good news. i oredered my new louis vuitton messenger bag todayy, horah for me...so i have been talkin occasionaly on here to my ex whom i thought hated, well not hated me cuz thats a strong word, but i didnt think he wanted ANYTHING to do with me, but we are friends now which is cool to put the shit behind, very happy about that cuz he is a swell guy! well, im guna go ill probly update more later... much love-justin |
|
|
| howdy |
[Apr. 22nd, 2005|12:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Undiscovered-Ashlee Simpson | ] |
well! Things are kinda slow right now, all i really do is work school sleep and hope for something. Me and that guy from New Orleans (nate) have been talking a lot..he is so rock awesome, wonder what he thinks about me? hmm..im to much of a puss to ask, but it is killing me! o well, he is cool and we are just friends! although it would be cool to have a little more w/ him, and i dont even mean a sexual relationship, im really not looking for that and could care less i just want to care for someone and them care for me in that way. But who knows, he says we should wait and see what happens which is a good idea, but im kinda worried that he will find someone better than me, and then i will have gotten worked up and hopin for nothing, but i geus its just one of those things you cant help. I just wish i had the balls to tell him all this. o well, other than that everything is ok..wait i just made it sound like that whole situation was bad..and its not its freakin awesome, im just scared..thats all...but yea so i miss updating on here all the time, im really gunna try more often..much love-justin |
|
|
| here are the lyrics nate |
[Apr. 20th, 2005|08:39 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ashlee simpson - unreachable | ] |
this song i put on here for Nathan to read...so read it and now you know why i cry....
Take it back, take it all back now
The things i gave, like the taste of my kiss on your lips,
I miss that now
I can't try any harder than i do
All the reasons i gave, excuses i made for you
Are broken in two
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
Yeah I need you
Don't walk away
Touch me now how i wanna feel
Something so real, please remind me
My love, and take me back
Cuz im so in love with what we were
Im not breathing im suffocating without you
Do u feel it to
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you
When im in the dark and all alone
Dreaming that you'll walk right through my door,
Its then i know my heart is whole
Theres a million reasons why i cry
Hold my covers tight and close my eyes
Cuz i dont wana be alone
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you, I need you
Cuz i cant fake and I cant hate
But it's my heart, Thats about to break
You're all i need, I'm on my knees
Watch me bleed
Would you listen please
I give in
I breathe out
I want you, theres no doubt
I freak out, I'm left out
Without you, im without
I'm crossed out
I'm kicked out
I cry out
I reach out
Don't walk away
LOVE ALWAYS JUSTIN |
|
|
| well.... |
[Apr. 20th, 2005|08:15 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ashlee simpson - better off | ] |
I have a lot of catching up to do now dont i..hahah...yea the last entry about nick and scott..turned out like the others they sucked and were assholes. Well actually Nick wasnt so bad, but i find myself wanting a kind of serious relationship right now, i know Nick would gladly date me but i just dont feel for him the way i should in order to have that kind of relationship. He is cool but just not for me. BUT in other news i saw Ashlee Simpson in New Orleans this past sat. it was so fun and contrary to what people believe she does not lip sync, she put on a very good show! i Loved it. Buut i also went to Bourbon St. after, now that was fun! I went to the Bourbon Pub(i.e. a gay bar) and was sooooo smashed! aha i made out w/ like 3 complete strangers, one tried to rape me, one got me soaked in sweat, the other however, was really freakin awesome. Everytime i think i like someone and i talk/gloat about it, it always like gets jynxed or something, and not saying this is goin anywhere b/c i doubt it will cuz he doesnt want a relationship, but i am starting to like him a lot, strange huh i have only known the guy for like 4 days, we talk on the phone like everyday i think, last night for like 5 hours(till 4 in the mornin) CRAZY butwhat can i say, im a wierdo who looks for stuff in ALL THE WRONG PLACES...and it sucks cuz sometimes i feel like maybe i do something wrong to make people not want me. Maybe i made myself available. I dont know, i even asked this guy at work, Daniel, for his number and we talk, we are just friends cuz he is kinda mean, well he just has an attitude thats mean, i think its b/c he has been a lot and its hard for him to trust people. BUt i dont know and im not tryin to judge him cuz im not here to judge anybody. But anyway yea, so i found someone i think is awesome and i would love to see more and i would want to be with this person, but like always there is something holding one of us back, and it sucks i mean i geuss its not my fault but it still hurts....o well its not anyones fault so dont feel bad cuz noone can help it..i geuss thats just the way the world works...people are happpy and im not much love-justin====ill update at lunch- |
|
|
| howdy |
[Mar. 3rd, 2005|12:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | my friend kayla's voice | ] |
Well, i am updating at lunch, just like i said i would...like two days ago. O well. So yea, this guy Scott, he is the most beautiful guy i have ever met i think. When i look at him i dont think 'hot' 'sexy' 'gosh i would bang him' i just think he is...i cant even explain it. And yes yes, i feel like utter shit b/c i already have a b/f whom i do care for a lot. Nick would be his name, he is hot, dresses nice, has a nice..well you kno, he is great other things too. He is so awesome, we get along so well, and when we talk on the phone we always have stuff to talk about, never akward silence moments. He is great, but in the back of my mind i still long to have Scott, when i talk to him i get so nervous b/c...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........just shoot me now |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
l0v3_m3_4_m3's journal